Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (#31-33)

Album production (mixing if you’re curious) has slowed me from writing nerd stuff for Ranker.com as much as I’d like, but I still manage the odd listicle. In fact, the mix in this group may be odder than the usual. You get some TV, some sports, and some comic book gore all rolled up with a dash of time travel.

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archervillainns#31 – Archer’s Greatest Villains, Ranked

With how messed up the main characters of Archer are, you forget how messed up the villains are. In fact, sometimes I forget who the villains are. Read this article and more sentences that end in a preposition to refresh your memory!

My favorite will always be Barry… or Other Barry. I can’t decide. What do you think Other Rhune? Oh, I couldn’t say, Rhune.

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jackierobinson#32 – Historical Sporting Events You’d Absolutely Have To Visit if You Owned a Time Machine

This list may seem impractical, but it is probably the most important list you’ll ever read. If, and when, I come into possession of a time machine, if I haven’t already, and enough timejuice to make my way across the space/time continuum, I’m going to be hitting up these games and matches in reverse order of the order they’ve been ranked in by you, the Ranker. My fate is in your hands. I’m especially looking forward to the inhospitable weather games. I can’t believe Jackie Robinson has been voted down so far. Who are you people? Who downvotes Jackie Robinson under any circumstances?

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sincitygore#33 – The 15 Goriest Moments in Sin City Comics

Ranker was on a real kick for lists about gore. So I told them that I know the Sin City comics like the back of my non-gory hand and took a crack at making this list. I don’t know how the roller-booting decapitation remains so low on the list, but I only have one vote to give!

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Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #12-20)

The nerdery never stops. These are the listicles of the starship Rhunerprise, and they’re focused on comic books, collectibles, movies, and more. After they leave my hands, the millions…. and millions… (no, really, millions) of Ranker readers get to vote on the order, which is always interesting for me. Let’s see how it’s been going.

Worthless 90's Collectibles#12 – The Most Worthless 90’s Collectibles You Spent Money On

I got way into researching the rise and fall of Beanie Babies and was very interested to get to the bottom of why collectible prospecting became such a booming practice during the 90’s. Strangely enough, the item that’s been voted to the top was an afterthought for me. At the last minute, I decided to add an entry about the things people didn’t look at as collectible at the time, because, of course, those are the things that did become collectibles. I never should’ve parted ways with my JVC X-Eye (a bootleg Sega CD game console).
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Adult Comic Books#13 – 17 Grown Up Comics That Definitely Aren’t For Kids

This is a comic book list I was born to write! However, as I was researching it, I came to learn that I only know about the tip of the iceberg when it comes to adult comics. But whether they’re erotic, or violent, or both, these are the smutty comics that are actually worth reading. I’m surprised to see Bomb Queen taking the top spot, but I’m not surprised to see a personal favorite, Omaha the Cat Dancer, languishing near the middle. Furry soap operas aren’t for everybody.

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Sexy Superhero Scenes#14 – The Sexiest Scenes in Superhero Movies

They decided to take it easy on me and let me talk about movies. Finally, my film degree paid off! You might think it’s easy to point out sexy scenes in superhero movies until you’re forced to examine hundreds of them. It was grueling. I tried to be fair and include as many male moments as female moments, but the voters seem to have other plans. At least we’re all in agreement that Catwoman sucks.
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Sexiest Non-Superhero Scenes#15 – Sexiest Scenes in Non-Superhero Comic Book Movies

Once I’d finished the previous list, I couldn’t leave all this quality research on the cutting room floor. There’s a lot less non-superhero comic book movies, but since they’re not as heavily marketed to kids, there’s a lot more sexiness in them. Reviewing the voting on this list confirms something I already knew; everyone likes Eva Green’s knockers.
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Creey Superhero Sex Scenes#16 – The 15 Creepiest Sex Scenes in Superhero Movies

Noting my obvious expertise, the handsome gentlemen at Ranker asked me to add to one of their preexisting lists that needed to made creepier and sexier. I can’t argue with Howard the Duck making the top of the list, but I don’t think there’s enough appreciation for how creepy some of the things that go down in Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2. The fact that the comics are even creepier takes some of the edge off, I suppose.
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Crime Comics#17 – The Best Crime Comics to Ever Hit the Shelves

The best discovery I made on this list was Scalped. If you learn nothing else from reading these lists, learn that you should read Scalped. Voters agree, but not enough to outpace 100 Bullets and some classic Sin City yarns. Apparently, there’s not a love for Hunter, which is kind of a bummer. This might be my favorite genre of comics, so it was fun to punch up a good list of quality crime reads.
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Comic Book Prisons#18 – Comic Book Prisons Where You Wouldn’t Want To Do Time

Nobody wants to go to prison, but if you had to, it would be a lot more interesting to be locked up in a comic book prison. The chances of breaking out are just too good! I’m surprised that people are into Ant-Man’s personal prison, The Big House, so much more than some other classics, but I guess he’s hot right now.
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best-comic-book-bars-u1#19 – Comic Book Bars Where You’d Want to Get a Drink

The Hellfire Club has taken the top spot on this list, though I started it out with Kadie’s Pecos Bar as my #1. It kind of makes sense, because going there means you’re rich, and that means you’re going to be able to have a lot of fun including the mutant kind. Going to Kadie’s means you live in a hellhole that will probably get you killed. Personally, I’d rather pass on committing to any one bar and follow Conan around all the time.
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-female-comic-book-characters-who-are-smarter-than-you-u1#20 – Female Comic Book Characters Who Are Smarter Than You

My mom inspired this list when she asked me to name a female superhero who was also a scientist. It took me a little while to name The Engineer from The Authority and Fathom which made me realize how rare it is that comic books attribute females with intelligence. Given time, I came up with plenty of smart comic book ladies, but it still feels like they are the exceptions rather than the rules. Sage isn’t high enough in the voting, but otherwise, I’m happy with this list and it’s 100k+ views.
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