Not long ago, I wrote in this space, asking for people to send in their best zombie impression. The end goal was to create the backdrop for a “radio play” about zombies. “Zombiegeddon!” is the result, and the third track on American Chipfunk.
The dialog comes from a screenplay that I meant to produce as a film before I ran out of money. The brilliant voice acting and improvisations were provided performed by my sister, Emelie O’Hara, and her friends, Ian Tindell and Curtiss Frisle. It was a lot of fun to do some sound design on a piece that didn’t have to conform to the rigorous rhythmic standards of music.
Have a listen or download it for posterity:
Zombiegeddon! | Lyrics | Download |
Everybody loves zombies now. Film studios love them because they’re cheaper than dragons. Horror fans love them because of their uncanny resemblance to the living. Christians love them because Jesus was one. I love them because I really think I’d be happier in a post-apocalyptic zombie world. In that world, when someone annoys you (and they’re undead) you’re allowed to hit them in the face with an ax. In fact, it’s encouraged. If they do turn out to have been living, you just claim that you thought they were a zombie! Sadly in the real world, you’re pretty much never allowed to hit someone in the face with an ax.
Now that even the morons in Hollywood have figured out that zombies are awesome, is it still cool to like zombies? Heck yes, but only if you’ve done your research.
Usually, I like to write a top ten list or history lesson with each of my song blogs, but that’s not gonna happen on the topic of zombies. Nope. Since I’m a zombie expert, you’re getting a top 30-or-so list of the best zombie stuff ever. What’s “stuff?” Anything can be stuff. Movies, comics, video games, 3-minute radio plays from my album, tv shows, you name it. I’ve even ranked them this time. Please feel free to disagree loudly and often.
My criteria for “what makes a zombie” can be summed up in two words: infection and resurrection. Here’s the best 32 things ever made about zombies.
32. | Return of the Living Dead | Movie | The punk sibling of George A. Romero’s flicks. It has a naked zombie girl for most of it. |
31. | Resident Evil | Movie | It’s not the best of it’s breed, but it sets the tone for it’s superior sequels. |
30. | Resident Evil 5 | Game | The best looking zombies in game history. |
29. | Day of the Dead (Remake) | Movie | This one got bonus points for taking place in CO. |
28. | House of the Dead | Game | No arcade is complete without this cabinet and it’s two plastic guns on wires. |
27. | Resident Evil 2 | Movie | Basically, it’s the first movie expanded to a citywide scale. Monsters are horrible though. |
26. | Dead Snow | Movie | Not the most sensical zombie film, but the zombies are Nazis. So there’s that. |
25. | Pandorum | Movie | I’m still not sure this fits the genre, which is the only reason its this low on the list. |
24. | Resident Evil 3 | Movie | The third time was a charm. It’d be nice if the trend continued for the fourth. |
23. | I Am Legend | Movie | They screwed up the ending. |
22. | Dead Space | Game | This is a borderline genre call as well, but it’s so damn good. Possibly the scariest game ever. |
21. | Thriller | Music Video | Normally, I don’t like when zombies dance. Did you know Michael Jackson’s in this? |
20. | I Am Legend | Book | It’s much better with the original ending, because then the title actually makes sense. |
19. | Undead | Movie | Few have seen this Australian comedy, which sucks. Its almost as good as Shaun of the Dead. |
18. | Resident Evil 4 | Game | Re-invigorated the survival horror and zombie genres. |
17. | Dead/Alive | Movie | The bloodiest movie ever. Works for me. |
16. | Dead Rising 2: Case Zero | Game | This mini-game sets the table for Dead Rising 2, which could compete for the top spot on this list. |
15. | Land of the Dead | Movie | Romero’s take on classism in the USA. |
14. | Zombieland | Movie | It’s not perfect, but it’s a decent training video for the actual zombie apocalypse. |
13. | Planet Terror | Movie | Robert Rodriguez’s zombie apocalypse not only has great zombies, it has great characters. |
12. | World War Z | Book | This book is the definitive work on how it will all go down on a global scale. |
11. | [Rec] | Movie | This Spanish movie is the Blair Witch of zombie films. It was remade poorly by Americans. |
10. | 28 Weeks Later | Movie | This sequel is great because it’s about screwing it all up after we defeat the zombies. |
9. | Dawn of the Dead | Movie | The classic satire on American consumerism. |
8. | The Walking Dead | Comic | It’s not even finished yet, and it gets 8th place. |
7. | Left 4 Dead | Game | This was the first simulator to really get it right. If everyone played it, we’d all be ready… |
6. | Left 4 Dead 2 | Game | ..and this is the definitive simulator. I practice once or twice a week, just to stay sharp. |
5. | Night of the Living Dead | Movie | Simply put, Patient Zero. |
4. | 28 Days Later | Movie | This is the most hardcore zombie movies get without being Italian and unwatchable. |
3. | Shaun of the Dead | Movie | More than a comedy, it’s a zombie amalgamation, a zombgalmation, if you will. |
2. | Dawn of the Dead (Remake) | Movie | I’m sure people will disagree, but for me, this one summarizes the genre perfectly. |
1. | Dead Rising | Game | Every facet of the zombie apocalypse you could ever want to explore and it all fits in the mall. |