Song Blog: “With Your Girlfriend”

“With Your Girlfriend” is a song I don’t play much, because I feel, in general, people hate it.

It is probably the most disliked song I’ve ever written. I’ve gotten a lot of dirty looks from audiences. Maybe they don’t get the grandiose, lecherous, sarcastic, over-complicated, duplicitous and poorly executed sci-fi storyline. It’s too bad, because I really like the “Ow/Uh” part.

I can’t really do much about the way people hate this song. What I can do, is try to explain the story in clear prose, so you can at least see what I was failing to get at. Here goes:

This song is set in a post-apocalyptic future. In this future, nuclear/chemical warfare has sterilized everyone except our protagonist and the listener’s girlfriend (how charmingly meta and interactive, right?). This gives the protagonist a survivalist’s reason to procreate “with your girlfriend,” who he thinks is a “fox” and a “9 out of 10.”  This inspires him to sing, philander beyond the original parameters (“with your mom”) and enjoy fruit brought to him by his illegitimate, mutant octuplets (See? It’s not that complicated). He also hints that the reason he and the girlfriend are still fertile is because they were already fornicating before the apocalypse and were secreted in a protective vault at the time of the sterilization event. Scandalous. Only when mass sterilization kicks in, does he bring the relationship to light, but still promises not to enjoy the sex (a blatant lie.)

Ta da!

Still not playing it live ever again.

Easter Egg: The little melody that bridges the chorus back to the verse, “No one else can do it anymore,” is a bit of a rip from the theme song for the post-apocalyptic anime series “Wolf’s Rain.” I love it, and no one will ever sue me, because I’m not playing this song anymore.

Song Blog: “Rock Discreetly”

It’s Rock O’Clock. Time for a song blog. Why this song, you ask? Because I think it’s the only song on my two albums that has never been performed live. I’ve played the acoustic intro, but the rest of it is beyond my live acoustic set up with all the drums, vocal layers and surf guitar. That’s kind of sad though, because it really captures a lot of my feelings, especially the “Fuck you, I’m going to make whatever sounds I want, even if they’re annoying” one.

I usually try to avoid curse words in recorded versions, because I hate making ‘clean edits,’ but since this yummy number had no potential as a single, I didn’t bother. This song isn’t all that funny, except for the fact that it’s loud and annoying for the sake of being loud and annoying, which I also think, really sums up my stage personality. That’s the opposite of my off-stage personality, which makes this song a real peek into the depths of my complexity. I’m so deep. I’m such a deep, intriguing person that he song right after this one is “Handjobs and Driving.”

This song was inspired by wanting to rock whilst other people, roommates, neighbors, cellmates and the like were trying to sleep and not owning a proper studio. Also, it’s a response to their complaints. All in all, a pretty self-explanatory song with silly voices.

Space/Time Continuum (Official Music Video)

This song is the most polarizing song in my repertoire. Responses are inevitably split between “this is my favorite” and “I don’t get it.”  The latter don’t even mean to say, “I don’t think it’s funny.” They really mean, “I don’t even grasp the concept.”  I think the key to “getting it” is watching enough sci-fi movies or at least one Back to the Future film. If you haven’t managed either of those, you may want to skip this… also if you have epilepsy. Anyway, here is “Space/Time Continuum” from my first album, Space Hell Sex Bunny:

This video was made before this blog, and therefore, never got a mention. I think it might be my favorite thing I’ve ever done in the whole world. Vastly delayed credit goes to the actress, Ashley Lindenberg, whose demure classiness really distracts the eye away from what a horrible dancer I am. Also, this video made me think I should go back to parting my hair in the middle, but I’m not sure I have that hairline anymore.

A lot of people ask the same question, so I might as well answer it. The “time machine” in this video is a light stage at the Institute for Creative Technologies in Culver City, CA. It’s built for 3d modeling, but we used it for its shiny, flashing lights. Also, no, I cannot get you access for your shoot.

Production stills:

Hetero-Strike (And the Death of Proposition 8)

Proposition 8 is no more! In case you haven’t heard, a United States District Court Judge named Vaughn Walker has struck down Proposition 8 in California by ruling it unconstitutional. Judge Walker was quoted as saying, “The main reason for my decision was an awesome song I heard written by Rhune Kincaid. It was this great protest number called “Hetero-Strike” from his first solo album, Space Hell Sex Bunny. Coincidentally, the mp3 is free, or you can name-your-own-price so Rhune can afford to record more great songs.  I’ll provide links below!”

Hetero-Strike Lyrics Download

"I know some guys that I think are gay," Walker said. "And I'll be damned if they get shafted... by the government."

The judge continued his praise and went on to say, “It has the trappings of an 80’s pop-rock song with its driving electronic beat and cascading, yet simple lead guitar done in a rich reverb reminiscent of U2’s guitarist, The Edge. The lyrics are biting, and I heard that Rhune was once confronted by an angry Mormon. (Editor’s note: it’s true!) He also continues to donate proceeds from the Mp3 sales to the National Center for Lesbian Rights. What a guy!”

“You might be thinking that the NCLR doesn’t need that money anymore, but believe me, they’re still paying lawyers and shi’.”

It was quite the honor to have my song mentioned and described with such intimate detail by such an influential figure. He also included all the pertinent marketing copy! It’s also nice to live in a state that’s no longer endorsing bigotry. Sadly, the fact remains that even though it’s unconstitutional, the majority of voters actually did want to ban gay marriage. Poor form, California, poor form.

Hopefully, the ruling will be upheld by the Federal appeals… or someone will come to their senses and realize that the best solution would be to just abolish marriage altogether. No more marriage, no more fighting over who gets it.

This ruling is good news for sane people, but bad news for me. One of my best songs will soon be obsolete.  I’ll have to find a new topic for a protest song. Loyal readers, what’s pissing you off these days?

Apple is Run by Freemasons

I saw an Apple logo that I could’ve sworn I’d seen somewhere before… somewhere evil. Apparently, it’s the logo for the App Store, but I knew it from somewhere else.

The logo is a couple of writing implements crossed above a ruler forming the letter ‘A.’ Take a look at how closely it resembles the Freemason’s logo of a compass and square:

Not sure which is which? Supposedly, the blue one is for Apple and the white one is for world domination. They both symbolize evil. To clarify, the Freemasons are an evil secret society who manipulate politics, arcane artifacts, the weather and whatever else suits their greedy desires. Apple just makes phones that turn their owners into insufferable jerks.

What does it mean? Is Apple run by Freemasons? Or do they just aspire to infiltrate the lives of every man, woman and child on the planet using Freemason techniques? Either way, I instantly knew to be wary of this symbol and that’s no surprise. I’ve long been wary of Apple, Steve Jobs, iTunes (Here’s the Top 5 reasons iTunes sucks) and their nefarious products. The best selling song I’ve ever written is a song from my first album, Space Hell Sex Bunny, and it’s about how much iPhones suck.  I still think they suck. Have a listen: