Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #21-23)

It’s time for another Reader’s Digest for the weirdo-nerd articles I’ve been writing for Ranker!

diamond#21 – The 26 Reasons Diamonds are for Suckers

This is probably my all-time favorite. I like it so much; I’ve decided to turn it into a song on my next album. If you read this and still go out and buy a diamond, you’re a moron. I have no idea how anyone should vote on this list, because all 26 entries are equally good reasons to never, ever buy a diamond.
—————————————————————————————————————-
the-best-spawn-action-figures-ever-sculpted-u1#22 – The Best Spawn Action Figures Ever Sculpted

This is some 3D nerd stuff right here. I’m happy to see that the top voted option is one that I own. People sure do like Spawn more than his Rogue’s Gallery, but I’ll always have a spot in my heart for Cygor, the man/gorilla cyborg with a monkey in his chest.

—————————————————————————————————————-
default#23 – Every Time Mystique Impersonates Someone in the X-Men Movies

Wow, this was an emotional ride. For someone as wrapped up in X-Men lore as myself, marathoning the whole XCU was a trip. So much goodness; so much awfulness. Voting is disabled on this list so it can be chronological forever.
—————————————————————————————————————-

Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #8-11)

I’ve been spinning out nerd lists for Ranker.com at an advanced pace, and falling behind on posts here! So I guess I’d better catch up. If you want to read them all you can click the tag for my Ranker recaps. Per usual, I’ll add my comments on how people have seen fit to re-order my articles with their votes.

biggest-retcons-in-comic-history#8 – The 30 Biggest Retcons in Comic History

This is a wonky one to vote on. I went with “Biggest” in the title so I could rank them based on their impact and influence on the world of comics. I’d imagine people are voting as much for that as they’re voting for “Best” and “Worst.” Some of these are awful things to have to read or even try to summarize (Xorneto), and some of them are fantastically well written (Supreme). A lot of the most important ones have risen to the top, but no one seems amused at the fact that WWE is reprinting comic books just to have CM Punk removed. I guess that’s just me.
—————————————————————————————————————-
the-most-destructive-things-that-have-ever-happened-in-comics#9 – The Most Destructive Comic Book Events

This was a tough one to write, because comic book destruction is just so massive. I guess when it only needs to be drawn, it’s easy to crack open a script and write “So, our story begins when a planet gets blown up and ends with total galactic annihilation…” I had to reach into my (admittedly sketchy) grasp on space opera comics, because that’s where the worst things happen. This list also confirmed what I already know, which is that nobody in the world likes Irredeemable as much as I do. It’s the only entry with more than one downvote.
—————————————————————————————————————-
promiscuous-comic-book-characters-u3#10 – The Most Promiscuous Superheroes in Comics

This was right up my alley! We toned down the title from “sluttiest superheroes,” but since male characters are still hovering around the top, we might’ve gotten away with it. Mystique has flown up from my original position, which I guess means that people assume that a hearty percentage of the sex in the Marvel Universe is Mystique duping other mutants. Meanwhile, Captain Dynamo’s gotten a free pass for his five children from five different mothers.
—————————————————————————————————————-
vgreligions#11 – The Coolest Religions in Video Games

This was a little something different for me. I think my video game knowledge is pretty decent, especially starting around three console generations ago. I suppose you could call this my most controversial list, since just about every entry has a 50/50 split in upvotes and downvotes. I’d never want to join, but Unitology is my favorite, it’s so insidiously integral to the plot of the Dead Space games. If there’s any belief system I really embrace in real life, it’s the cosmology of Mass Effect. Get ready for the Reaping! I’m also a little sad that nobody likes the Lovecraftian stylings of Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem.
—————————————————————————————————————-

best-deadpool-comic-book-storylines-ranked

Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Articles #4-7)

I love making lists and I love when people give a crap that I made a list, so as you can imagine, I was very happy to find out that two of my first three lists that I wrote for Ranker.com received over 100,000 views. So, like anyone who loves attention, I wrote even more! Since these articles get re-ordered by readers, it’s fun to look back after a few months and see just how hard people disagree with me.
most-essential-x-men-storylines-ranked-u2
the-most-redundant-x-men-characters-ranked-u2#4 – The Most Redundant X-Men Characters, Ranked

I love the X-Men a whole lot, so it really chaps my hide when writers either don’t know their history or just don’t care and they decide to just rehash a character with a “new” one. The great thing about early X-Men stories is that all the characters are unique outcasts. When there’s 7 telepaths running around all the time, it’s not so special.
—————————————————————————————————————-

best-avenger-comics#5 – Best Avengers Comic Storylines, Ranked

People like new comics and the old classics and nothing in between according to the voting on this list. The 1960’s stuff from Stan Lee and the darker new stuff from Mark Millar and Brian Michael Bendis has all floated to the top while 70’s Steve Englehart books lag behind. This was a fun one to write because I was naive enough to think I needed to read them all before I wrote it. I really liked getting familiar with Under Siege and Ultron Ulimited.
—————————————————————————————————————-
FyUfZUyd_400x400#6 – The Best Deadpool Storylines, Ranked

Deadpool has weirdly gained in popularity over his 25 years in the Marvel lineup to become one of their most popular characters of the new millennium. You wouldn’t have guessed it from his humble start as a generic, sock-headed ninjassassin. By embracing comedy, a handful of writers have turned him into so much more. Here’s hoping the Merc with a Mouth gets a good big screen treatment later this year.
—————————————————————————————————————-
MicOnFire#7 – The Best Voice Actors in 90’s Superhero Cartoons

I pitched this one as “Best Actors from X-Men: The Animated Series,” but I’m glad it got expanded into something broader. I got to revisit Spawn, The Maxx, and Aeon Flux, which were all less appreciated superhero cartoons from the 90’s. As I suspected, once the voting opened all of the characters from X-Men: The Animated Series and Batman: The Animated Series flew to the top. And that’s the way it should be; those shows were spectacular. I also learned that the original voice of Optimus Prime worked in the 80’s and then didn’t revisit the character until the Michael Bay movies.
—————————————————————————————————————-

best-deadpool-comic-book-storylines-ranked