Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #12-20)

The nerdery never stops. These are the listicles of the starship Rhunerprise, and they’re focused on comic books, collectibles, movies, and more. After they leave my hands, the millions…. and millions… (no, really, millions) of Ranker readers get to vote on the order, which is always interesting for me. Let’s see how it’s been going.

Worthless 90's Collectibles#12 – The Most Worthless 90’s Collectibles You Spent Money On

I got way into researching the rise and fall of Beanie Babies and was very interested to get to the bottom of why collectible prospecting became such a booming practice during the 90’s. Strangely enough, the item that’s been voted to the top was an afterthought for me. At the last minute, I decided to add an entry about the things people didn’t look at as collectible at the time, because, of course, those are the things that did become collectibles. I never should’ve parted ways with my JVC X-Eye (a bootleg Sega CD game console).
Adult Comic Books#13 – 17 Grown Up Comics That Definitely Aren’t For Kids

This is a comic book list I was born to write! However, as I was researching it, I came to learn that I only know about the tip of the iceberg when it comes to adult comics. But whether they’re erotic, or violent, or both, these are the smutty comics that are actually worth reading. I’m surprised to see Bomb Queen taking the top spot, but I’m not surprised to see a personal favorite, Omaha the Cat Dancer, languishing near the middle. Furry soap operas aren’t for everybody.

Sexy Superhero Scenes#14 – The Sexiest Scenes in Superhero Movies

They decided to take it easy on me and let me talk about movies. Finally, my film degree paid off! You might think it’s easy to point out sexy scenes in superhero movies until you’re forced to examine hundreds of them. It was grueling. I tried to be fair and include as many male moments as female moments, but the voters seem to have other plans. At least we’re all in agreement that Catwoman sucks.
Sexiest Non-Superhero Scenes#15 – Sexiest Scenes in Non-Superhero Comic Book Movies

Once I’d finished the previous list, I couldn’t leave all this quality research on the cutting room floor. There’s a lot less non-superhero comic book movies, but since they’re not as heavily marketed to kids, there’s a lot more sexiness in them. Reviewing the voting on this list confirms something I already knew; everyone likes Eva Green’s knockers.
Creey Superhero Sex Scenes#16 – The 15 Creepiest Sex Scenes in Superhero Movies

Noting my obvious expertise, the handsome gentlemen at Ranker asked me to add to one of their preexisting lists that needed to made creepier and sexier. I can’t argue with Howard the Duck making the top of the list, but I don’t think there’s enough appreciation for how creepy some of the things that go down in Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2. The fact that the comics are even creepier takes some of the edge off, I suppose.
Crime Comics#17 – The Best Crime Comics to Ever Hit the Shelves

The best discovery I made on this list was Scalped. If you learn nothing else from reading these lists, learn that you should read Scalped. Voters agree, but not enough to outpace 100 Bullets and some classic Sin City yarns. Apparently, there’s not a love for Hunter, which is kind of a bummer. This might be my favorite genre of comics, so it was fun to punch up a good list of quality crime reads.
Comic Book Prisons#18 – Comic Book Prisons Where You Wouldn’t Want To Do Time

Nobody wants to go to prison, but if you had to, it would be a lot more interesting to be locked up in a comic book prison. The chances of breaking out are just too good! I’m surprised that people are into Ant-Man’s personal prison, The Big House, so much more than some other classics, but I guess he’s hot right now.
best-comic-book-bars-u1#19 – Comic Book Bars Where You’d Want to Get a Drink

The Hellfire Club has taken the top spot on this list, though I started it out with Kadie’s Pecos Bar as my #1. It kind of makes sense, because going there means you’re rich, and that means you’re going to be able to have a lot of fun including the mutant kind. Going to Kadie’s means you live in a hellhole that will probably get you killed. Personally, I’d rather pass on committing to any one bar and follow Conan around all the time.
-female-comic-book-characters-who-are-smarter-than-you-u1#20 – Female Comic Book Characters Who Are Smarter Than You

My mom inspired this list when she asked me to name a female superhero who was also a scientist. It took me a little while to name The Engineer from The Authority and Fathom which made me realize how rare it is that comic books attribute females with intelligence. Given time, I came up with plenty of smart comic book ladies, but it still feels like they are the exceptions rather than the rules. Sage isn’t high enough in the voting, but otherwise, I’m happy with this list and it’s 100k+ views.


Kick-Ass Jiggle-Fest

I cashed in my prize from placing in the the Kick-Ass talent contest and got to witness the Kick-Ass Girls Burlesque show produced by Lionsgate and Devil’s Playground. It was one of the better jiggle-fests I’ve been too, on par with the epic Lucha VaVoom and this place in Vegas we’ll say no more about except to say that it wasn’t really burlesque at all.  For a rating, I give the show a 32C.

Daisy Meadows’ turn as Pris from Blade Runner was my favorite routine of the night. The worst was definitely when the host of, Juan-Manuel Rocha, did a performance art piece with a camera. Courtney Cruz, who is the ringleader of this troupe, picked my favorite comic book vixen, the modern Silk Spectre from Watchmen. Also portrayed were Chun Li from Street Fighter (by Gia Rose), Cherry Darling from Planet Terror (by Olivia Bella Fontaine) and Wonder Woman (by the breastacular Lucy Fur). The boobariffic host, Mia Vixen, had also an impromptu jiggle. I don’t usually approve of improv, but I will let this one go.

I gained a promotional Hit-Girl t-shirt, and now I just need a Red Mist and Big Daddy t-shirt for a complete set of all four main character t-shirts. I’m not entirely sure what I just said, because I haven’t seen the movie or even read the book. Despite that, even I know that it is not OK to lust after Hit-Girl, because the character is 12-years old.  A representative from the L.A. Weekly (a publication best known for it’s poor spelling) was in attendance. She went on stage and said that the girls looked sexably hot in the Kick-Ass trailer. I yelled, “They’re underage,” and there was laughter. Normally, I don’t approve of heckling, but they spelled my name wrong.

Courtney Cruz as the Silk Spectre from Watchmen

Juan-Manuel Rocha's performance art piece

Me being me, y'know, like I do.

Dasiy Meadows as Pris from Blade Runner

The Ellay Weagly was in attendance.

Olivia Bella Fontaine as Cherry Darling

Courtney Cruz as the Silk Spectre

Gia Rose as Chun Li with Power Ranger

Lucy Fur as Wonder Woman

Dream Come True at the Kick-Ass Contest

Last night, I performed in an ass-kicking contest to promote the upcoming Lionsgate movie, Kick-Ass. There were comedians, singers, martial artists, a girl dressed as a dog and many more competing to see who could “kick the most ass.”  That’s a fancy way of saying it was a talent show. It’s an on-line contest, so…

To see all the contestants and cast your vote, go to:

Vote for me as much as you want, because it would make me happier than I already am. You see, I am already ecstatic about this video. It was a dream come true. I played “Coppin’ a Feel,” which will be the lead single off of my upcoming album, American Chipfunk. The cameraman deserves all the awards in the world, because he thoughtfully panned to the audience during the audience participation part of the song and captured, on video, a real life feel being copped. That is why I’m ecstatic. Most of my concert videos just show me singing. This has the magic of public groping! That’s right. If you watch this video, you will get to see a boob get squeezed. It shows that my song isn’t just a collection of pretty melodies. It is a serious message song like Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s “Ohio,” U2’s “Sunday, Bloody, Sunday, John Lennon’s “Imagine,” etc…

Coincidentally, the victim of the squeezing was Satine Phoenix of You can read her review of Kick-Ass here.

Special thanks go out to Jonathan London of who invited me to the contest (and was the first judge in the video, I think he was a little biased due to his own public molestation habit), Juan-Manuel Rocha of, and for sponsoring the event!

Coincidentally, it really was my sister’s birthday. She shares it with Jackie Chan. I wasn’t making that up. Happy birthday, Emelie!

For the curious, here is the full, 3-minute version of “Coppin’ a Feel”: