There’s no better kept secret on the internet than the articles I write for Ranker.com… until now! One of these babies has over 2.4 million views. Millions! Which one? You’ll have to read to find out, but it has to do with sex and a TV show with a title that rhymes with Schmame of Schmones.
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#24 – Game of Thrones Backstories that Happened Before the Books Even Started
This was extremely fun to write. It’s probably the second or third or thirty-ninth best (unofficial) prequel to A Song of Fire and Ice you can possibly read! Though practically everyone involved is already dead, readers seem to think that the whole Rhaegar-Targaryan-kidnapping-Lyanna-Stark thing will be a prominent storyline in the seasons to come whilst poo-pooing on Jorah Mormont and Mance Rayder’s storylines.
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#25 – The Best Grant Morrison Comics of All Time
I barely remember writing this one, but it’s all true. All-Star Superman has bubbled to the top, but my pick will always be The Invisibles and Morrison’s plea for a spiritual “wankathon” to keep the book from getting canned. It was my introduction to “chaos magic,” which I’m still not any good at.
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#26 – Surprising Facts about George R. R. Martin’s Writing Habits
Writing about how someone else writes their writings was one of the more grueling things I’ve been written to to write about. I can’t deny that GRRM is a quirky dude, but I guess I’m a quirky enough dude that I’m only surprised that he doesn’t have quirkier quirks. The most surprising fact about him is that he’s not more arrogant or precious about his baby (like the hacks that are currently ruining The Walking Dead). I also like his hats.
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#27 – The Best Alfreds in Batman History
Back to comic books, or at least, comic-book-based properties for me! I had kind of assumed that people would vote the movie actors up to the top of the list, so I’m happy to see that Efrem Zimbalist Jr.’s portrayal from Batman: The Animated Series has risen to the lead. Ranker rankers know what they’re ranking about.
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#28 – 22 Unexpected Nude Scenes in Movies
It looks like Jason Segel’s wiener is still holding down the top spot on this list. Boobs are downright commonplace, but a surprise wiener can be the most unexpected nudity of all. I originally posted uncensored images with the understanding that someone at Ranker was going to make black bars, but I guess they just went for bare-ly related screengrabs. I’m sorry, Mr. Skin, I have failed you.
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#29 – Game of Thrones Sex Scenes That Aren’t Even in the Books
This list appears to be non-voteable, which is a shame, because it could be ranked by scandalousness, egregiousness, or gratuitousness. But you know what? I don’t care. That’s because it has, at the time of blogging, 2.4 million views. If I had a penny for everyone of those views, I think I’d have like $24,000? I think it makes sense to amp up the visual intensity of a book when it’s being adapted to the screen, but these scenes have made some folks (who probably still wear buckles on their hats) get all huffy. I only get huffy over the ones that involve drastic character and/or plot changes.
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#30 – Game of Thrones Religions Worth Believing In
People are just not into the Lord of Light! Voters would rather turn their lips blue or be confused, beaten and blinded by the Many-Faced God than join up with R’Hllor, and I dunno, learn how to ressurect the dead? That seems cool to me, but I guess not everyone is onboard with burning children at the stake. Sign me up!
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