Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (#31-33)

Album production (mixing if you’re curious) has slowed me from writing nerd stuff for Ranker.com as much as I’d like, but I still manage the odd listicle. In fact, the mix in this group may be odder than the usual. You get some TV, some sports, and some comic book gore all rolled up with a dash of time travel.

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archervillainns#31 – Archer’s Greatest Villains, Ranked

With how messed up the main characters of Archer are, you forget how messed up the villains are. In fact, sometimes I forget who the villains are. Read this article and more sentences that end in a preposition to refresh your memory!

My favorite will always be Barry… or Other Barry. I can’t decide. What do you think Other Rhune? Oh, I couldn’t say, Rhune.

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jackierobinson#32 – Historical Sporting Events You’d Absolutely Have To Visit if You Owned a Time Machine

This list may seem impractical, but it is probably the most important list you’ll ever read. If, and when, I come into possession of a time machine, if I haven’t already, and enough timejuice to make my way across the space/time continuum, I’m going to be hitting up these games and matches in reverse order of the order they’ve been ranked in by you, the Ranker. My fate is in your hands. I’m especially looking forward to the inhospitable weather games. I can’t believe Jackie Robinson has been voted down so far. Who are you people? Who downvotes Jackie Robinson under any circumstances?

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sincitygore#33 – The 15 Goriest Moments in Sin City Comics

Ranker was on a real kick for lists about gore. So I told them that I know the Sin City comics like the back of my non-gory hand and took a crack at making this list. I don’t know how the roller-booting decapitation remains so low on the list, but I only have one vote to give!

Songs I Bet You Never Knew I Worked On

Hey gang! Here’s a weird story about two songs that I bet you never knew I worked on!

the trouble with terkel poster songsAbout six years ago, I was commissioned to work on two songs for an English-language version of an animated film from Denmark. It was called Terkel I Knibe (Terkel in Trouble). The task was pretty unique. The movie had two songs that had been produced in Danish that needed to be re-sung, re-produced, and translated with as much humor as possible into English.  I got to see the whole movie, but more than half of the dialogue was still in Danish. A stream of bizarre, outrageous, half-understood, and obscene animated images paraded before my eyes so I could get a feel for the tone. And then I did the job! I made Americanized versions of “Mr. Cool” and “F*** Off and Die.”

SIX YEARS LATER

The movie is finally coming to America! It’s been renamed The Trouble with Terkel and has already scored a spot in the Tribeca Film Festival in New York.  It’s also making a west coast debut at the Laemmle Noho 7 on February 3rd at 10pm. . I’ll be there, and it would be cool if you were too! Be warned though; just because this is an animated movie about kids does not mean it is for kids. It is a hard R with some rau-au-au-unchy stuff. Raunchy stuff. The aforementioned “trouble,” that the protagonist, “Terkel,” is “in” is both disturbing and profound. But I’ll be singing in it for a couple of minutes, so it’s all ok!

tl;dr I made two songs for this movie that’s playing at the Laemmle NoHo 7 on 02/03/17!

For full details and tickets, check out the theater’s site: https://www.laemmle.com/films/41866


Flash Non-Sale!

Today or tomorrow or whatever is the last day to get my first two albums, Space Hell Sex Bunny and American Chipfunk, through mainstream venues like iTunes or Amazon or whatever. 

Of course, you can also always get them for free at rhunekincaid.com/music

Why #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend Offends ME

I am vehemently against Captain America being made gay in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and here’s why:

If you are longing for gay comic book hero that you can admire and idolize, then you don’t know anything about comic books, can’t function Google, and in my opinion, don’t deserve to be a part of the conversation.

If half the energy put into #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend went into adapting The Authority into a mature and faithful film, it would be light-years better for the community, comic books as a medium, and the world.

Begging to have an agenda-switch flipped on an existing character is so sad and desperate when writers are making amazing things that fit the agenda and the offended parties are just too lazy or busy being offended to find it.

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That’s the fans’ job in this exchange: to find what you like and support it. If you don’t, who will? And if your demographic is small, then it makes that job that much more important. Do your job.

Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (#24-30)

There’s no better kept secret on the internet than the articles I write for Ranker.com… until now! One of these babies has over 2.4 million views. Millions! Which one? You’ll have to read to find out, but it has to do with sex and a TV show with a title that rhymes with Schmame of Schmones.

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-important-events-that-happened-before-game-of-thrones-even-started#24 – Game of Thrones Backstories that Happened Before the Books Even Started

This was extremely fun to write. It’s probably the second or third or thirty-ninth best (unofficial) prequel to A Song of Fire and Ice you can possibly read! Though practically everyone involved is already dead, readers seem to think that the whole Rhaegar-Targaryan-kidnapping-Lyanna-Stark thing will be a prominent storyline in the seasons to come whilst poo-pooing on Jorah Mormont and Mance Rayder’s storylines.
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Morrison#25 – The Best Grant Morrison Comics of All Time

I barely remember writing this one, but it’s all true. All-Star Superman has bubbled to the top, but my pick will always be The Invisibles and Morrison’s plea for a spiritual “wankathon” to keep the book from getting canned. It was my introduction to “chaos magic,” which I’m still not any good at.
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George-RR-Martin#26 – Surprising Facts about George R. R. Martin’s Writing Habits

Writing about how someone else writes their writings was one of the more grueling things I’ve been written to to write about. I can’t deny that GRRM is a quirky dude, but I guess I’m a quirky enough dude that I’m only surprised that he doesn’t have quirkier quirks. The most surprising fact about him is that he’s not more arrogant or precious about his baby (like the hacks that are currently ruining The Walking Dead). I also like his hats.
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efrem-zimbalist-jr-in-batman-the-animated-series-photo-u2#27 – The Best Alfreds in Batman History

Back to comic books, or at least, comic-book-based properties for me! I had kind of assumed that people would vote the movie actors up to the top of the list, so I’m happy to see that Efrem Zimbalist Jr.’s portrayal from Batman: The Animated Series has risen to the lead. Ranker rankers know what they’re ranking about.
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just-one-of-the-guys-photo-u6#28 – 22 Unexpected Nude Scenes in Movies

It looks like Jason Segel’s wiener is still holding down the top spot on this list. Boobs are downright commonplace, but a surprise wiener can be the most unexpected nudity of all. I originally posted uncensored images with the understanding that someone at Ranker was going to make black bars, but I guess they just went for bare-ly related screengrabs. I’m sorry, Mr. Skin, I have failed you.
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#29 – Game of Thrones Sex Scenes That Aren’t Even in the Books

This list appears to be non-voteable, which is a shame, because it could be ranked by scandalousness, egregiousness, or gratuitousness. But you know what? I don’t care. That’s because it has, at the time of blogging, 2.4 million views. If I had a penny for everyone of those views, I think I’d have like $24,000? I think it makes sense to amp up the visual intensity of a book when it’s being adapted to the screen, but these scenes have made some folks (who probably still wear buckles on their hats) get all huffy. I only get huffy over the ones that involve drastic character and/or plot changes.
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#30 – Game of Thrones Religions Worth Believing In

People are just not into the Lord of Light! Voters would rather turn their lips blue or be confused, beaten and blinded by the Many-Faced God than join up with R’Hllor, and I dunno, learn how to ressurect the dead? That seems cool to me, but I guess not everyone is onboard with burning children at the stake. Sign me up!
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