#TBT – “Welcome to the Spank Bank” Live at Flappers 2012


I don’t remember doing this show. I don’t remember changing the lyrics to this. I don’t remember removing the crappy interlude section. I don’t remember this song ever getting this good of a reaction. Yet, there it was, on a file that sat on my Windows Desktop for two years. It’s not the best video, but it’s proof that this is not the worst song I ever wrote. (The two I played before it got lousy responses, so they’re worse.)

LAMPSHADE MAN: the movie

Look what I found on an old hard drive. Last time this was available on the internet, there was no YouTube (who I’m still mad at). “LAMPSHADE MAN: the movie” was my third-to-last student film at the University of Colorado.

A lot of people ask me, “How did you get that damaged film look?” My answer remains, “I shot it on film and then I damaged the film.” It was a hand-wound 16mm Bolex camera. It was hand edited too. I actually had to tape pieces of film together. I wish I could say that I had all these great ideas, but really, it was my film school teaching me extremely outdated techniques. (Love you, CU!)

A lot of people compliment me on the music. The music is awesome. It’s by The Gravitones, the best band from my hometown of Loveland, Colorado. My band, The Vanishing, was probably the 9th or 10th best. Maybe lower. We were pretty bad. Anyway, all the music comes from the Gravitones 2001ish album, “Echolalia,” which I can’t find anywhere on the internet, but I’ve got a copy.

Finally, a lot of people mention how muscular I looked when I played Lampshade Man. That’s not me. It’s Jeff Slutz. He was in The Vanishing too. He’s an accomplished music producer, whose stuff I also cannot find on the internet. I had no muscles in college.

Comedy or Pornography?

If you go to Youtube to watch my “Coppin’ a Feel” music video, you’ll find it “disabled for violation of the YouTube Community Guidelines.” It looks like this now:

:/ is right.

I appealed, but that just meant I got to write two sentences, click a button and have it denied within minutes. I’m quite unhappy. According to their notice, “YouTube is not the place for nudity, pornography or other sexually provacative content.” It’s a comedy video. Yes, it’s about something sexy, but that doesn’t make it pornography. There’s zero nudity and the imagery is no worse than the average rap video.  I could spend a lifetime watching racier stuff on YouTube, but I won’t.

Instead, I’m asking people to spread their displeasure on twitter using the hashtags, #ShameOnYouTube, #FreedomOfReach and #LifeLibertyAndThePursuitOfGropiness. Let YouTube know that they got it wrong.

If you haven’t seen it, and therefore aren’t sure if you’re outraged yet, the video is below. Judge for yourself. Is this comedy or pornography?

Coppin’ a Feel (Official Music Video)

The Music of Loveline

As you might know, I’ve been working for Loveline for about a year as a video producer. The show streams live on the internet every Sunday-Thursday at 10pm (PST). It’s a cool job because not only do they pay me, but sometimes I get to do funny and/or musical videos based on Loveline content. I would like to share some of my favorite musical bits from Loveline:





Mp3s are available on the Loveline homepage here and here.

Tay Zonday’s Lockout and Me

This makes me so happy. Some Youtube luminaries have weighed in on my music video for “Coppin’ a Feel.” This may be the nicest thing anyone’s ever made about my music. It features Tay Zonday, Mystery Guitar Man, Ethan Newberry and Exotic Jess, who doesn’t have many nice things to say, but even that makes me happy. Thanks to BAMMO for making this happen!

To give this blog post a little beef, I’ll respond to my “critics.”

To Tay Zonday:
Thank you, I’m honored. +30035 (boobs).

To Exotic Jess:
I didn’t have a girlfriend when I wrote the song, but I did by the time I made the video (and still do) which made the whole thing a bit more nerve-wracking than boneriffic. Also, while girls might not notice when they’re checking their rack… I do.

To Mystery Guitar Man:
I did make a Craigslist post, but didn’t cast anyone from it. They all seemed like the kind of girl that might shiv the whole crew and steal the camera.

To Ethan Newberry:
You get me bro. I will send you that loop.