Why #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend Offends ME

I am vehemently against Captain America being made gay in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and here’s why:

If you are longing for gay comic book hero that you can admire and idolize, then you don’t know anything about comic books, can’t function Google, and in my opinion, don’t deserve to be a part of the conversation.

If half the energy put into #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend went into adapting The Authority into a mature and faithful film, it would be light-years better for the community, comic books as a medium, and the world.

Begging to have an agenda-switch flipped on an existing character is so sad and desperate when writers are making amazing things that fit the agenda and the offended parties are just too lazy or busy being offended to find it.

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That’s the fans’ job in this exchange: to find what you like and support it. If you don’t, who will? And if your demographic is small, then it makes that job that much more important. Do your job.

Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #21-23)

It’s time for another Reader’s Digest for the weirdo-nerd articles I’ve been writing for Ranker!

diamond#21 – The 26 Reasons Diamonds are for Suckers

This is probably my all-time favorite. I like it so much; I’ve decided to turn it into a song on my next album. If you read this and still go out and buy a diamond, you’re a moron. I have no idea how anyone should vote on this list, because all 26 entries are equally good reasons to never, ever buy a diamond.
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the-best-spawn-action-figures-ever-sculpted-u1#22 – The Best Spawn Action Figures Ever Sculpted

This is some 3D nerd stuff right here. I’m happy to see that the top voted option is one that I own. People sure do like Spawn more than his Rogue’s Gallery, but I’ll always have a spot in my heart for Cygor, the man/gorilla cyborg with a monkey in his chest.

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default#23 – Every Time Mystique Impersonates Someone in the X-Men Movies

Wow, this was an emotional ride. For someone as wrapped up in X-Men lore as myself, marathoning the whole XCU was a trip. So much goodness; so much awfulness. Voting is disabled on this list so it can be chronological forever.
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Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Articles #1-3)

If you know me, you know I have lists for everything: movies I’ve seen, books I’ve read, beers I’ve consumed, places I’ve been, etc… So I was happy to be asked to start writing list articles for Ranker.com about comic books.  Once they’re posted, readers get to vote to re-rank the list. The results can be pretty surprising. Please… vote your asses off. Here’s a handy guide and a little voting commentary on the first handful:
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images#1 – The Best X-Men Comic Stories, Ranked

For better or worse, I have read just about every X-Men comic pertinent to the main continuity from 1963 to 2014. I hope to be caught up soon. Someone please ask them to slow down for a little bit so I can catch my breath? The voting hasn’t been too shocking aside from the fact that the cheap “Fatal Attractions” storyline from the 90’s has been voted up to third place over classics like “Mutant Massacre” and my personal favorite, the story of Rogue joining the X-Men.
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MostPowerful#2 – The Most Powerful Comic Book Characters Ever, Ranked

When Ranker asked me to write this one, I was thinking about muscles and punching, but I realized that in comic books, the highest power lies with those able to manipulate reality. The voting has been weird since Thanos, Galactus and The Phoenix have been voted to the top despite the fact that the Marvel characters that made them (and could unmake them) are also on the list. I also learned that nobody reads my favorite recent comic book, Irredeemable, since its most powerful character has been voted to the bottom of the list.
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the-craziest-comic-book-characters-ranked-u1#3 – The Craziest Comic Book Characters, Ranked

Insanity is hard to define, but I must be crazy, because I put The Joker second on the list and readers immediately voted him to the top. In fact, they voted a lot of mainstream Marvel and DC characters up to the top, which pushed down independent comic book crazies like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (a raving lunatic who kills people to keep the walls of his house fresh with blood to keep imaginary monsters away) and Black Noir (a hedonistic super hero who kills and eats babies to frame his clone). I guess those kinds of antics just don’t rate on the cray scale anymore.
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Happy reading! I hope DC or Marvel will read and ask me to come work for them!

The Pretty Oddcast (Episodes 1-3)

I’ve started a new podcast called The Pretty Oddcast with Lindsey Floyd. We met working at Loveline and now we go on adventures to explore alternative lifestyles and fringe subcultures. Put more bluntly, we want to find out what weird people are doing in weird places with their weird time. Since then, we’ve released podcasts detailing our first few oddventures, and I wanted to make them available here. Enjoy!

CameraZOOM-20140718195320053Episode #1: LARP Stands For…

 


To download, right-click and select “Save As” option.

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Episode #2: Comic-Con International


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Episode #3: Threshhold BDSM Clubbackatthreshold

 
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How You Know You’re A Nerd and There’s No Going Back

Hello Peavy Guitar Manufacturers,

I was on the verge of purchasing one of your 1/2 size acoustic Iron Man guitars when I noticed a disturbing problem with the artwork. Iron Man is clearly missing a panel on his helmet. It’s on his forehead right between his eyes. There should be a recessed RED panel on his forehead. Your artwork has a textureless black polygon where there should be armor.

I’ll admit, in some comic book and movie imagery of Iron Man, this recessed portion of the helmet can appear dark and shadowy, but on your guitar, it is flat black despite being located in the most brightly lit part of the helmet. Even if it were a black panel, it should have some degree of shading.  I don’t think Jack Kirby would approve.

What gives? How did Marvel let this happen? Stan Lee must be turning over in his grave! (I know, I know. I’m just that sick of his movie cameos.)

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at this still from the movies:

Notice that the red panel above his eyes is shaded, but still red.

Is there a guitar with corrected artwork? I’d buy that in a heartbeat. I want a 1/2 size Iron Man guitar, but not one with jankety-ass artwork.

Thanks!

~Rhune