Why #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend Offends ME

I am vehemently against Captain America being made gay in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and here’s why:

If you are longing for gay comic book hero that you can admire and idolize, then you don’t know anything about comic books, can’t function Google, and in my opinion, don’t deserve to be a part of the conversation.

If half the energy put into #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend went into adapting The Authority into a mature and faithful film, it would be light-years better for the community, comic books as a medium, and the world.

Begging to have an agenda-switch flipped on an existing character is so sad and desperate when writers are making amazing things that fit the agenda and the offended parties are just too lazy or busy being offended to find it.

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That’s the fans’ job in this exchange: to find what you like and support it. If you don’t, who will? And if your demographic is small, then it makes that job that much more important. Do your job.

Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (#24-30)

There’s no better kept secret on the internet than the articles I write for Ranker.com… until now! One of these babies has over 2.4 million views. Millions! Which one? You’ll have to read to find out, but it has to do with sex and a TV show with a title that rhymes with Schmame of Schmones.

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-important-events-that-happened-before-game-of-thrones-even-started#24 – Game of Thrones Backstories that Happened Before the Books Even Started

This was extremely fun to write. It’s probably the second or third or thirty-ninth best (unofficial) prequel to A Song of Fire and Ice you can possibly read! Though practically everyone involved is already dead, readers seem to think that the whole Rhaegar-Targaryan-kidnapping-Lyanna-Stark thing will be a prominent storyline in the seasons to come whilst poo-pooing on Jorah Mormont and Mance Rayder’s storylines.
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Morrison#25 – The Best Grant Morrison Comics of All Time

I barely remember writing this one, but it’s all true. All-Star Superman has bubbled to the top, but my pick will always be The Invisibles and Morrison’s plea for a spiritual “wankathon” to keep the book from getting canned. It was my introduction to “chaos magic,” which I’m still not any good at.
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George-RR-Martin#26 – Surprising Facts about George R. R. Martin’s Writing Habits

Writing about how someone else writes their writings was one of the more grueling things I’ve been written to to write about. I can’t deny that GRRM is a quirky dude, but I guess I’m a quirky enough dude that I’m only surprised that he doesn’t have quirkier quirks. The most surprising fact about him is that he’s not more arrogant or precious about his baby (like the hacks that are currently ruining The Walking Dead). I also like his hats.
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efrem-zimbalist-jr-in-batman-the-animated-series-photo-u2#27 – The Best Alfreds in Batman History

Back to comic books, or at least, comic-book-based properties for me! I had kind of assumed that people would vote the movie actors up to the top of the list, so I’m happy to see that Efrem Zimbalist Jr.’s portrayal from Batman: The Animated Series has risen to the lead. Ranker rankers know what they’re ranking about.
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just-one-of-the-guys-photo-u6#28 – 22 Unexpected Nude Scenes in Movies

It looks like Jason Segel’s wiener is still holding down the top spot on this list. Boobs are downright commonplace, but a surprise wiener can be the most unexpected nudity of all. I originally posted uncensored images with the understanding that someone at Ranker was going to make black bars, but I guess they just went for bare-ly related screengrabs. I’m sorry, Mr. Skin, I have failed you.
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#29 – Game of Thrones Sex Scenes That Aren’t Even in the Books

This list appears to be non-voteable, which is a shame, because it could be ranked by scandalousness, egregiousness, or gratuitousness. But you know what? I don’t care. That’s because it has, at the time of blogging, 2.4 million views. If I had a penny for everyone of those views, I think I’d have like $24,000? I think it makes sense to amp up the visual intensity of a book when it’s being adapted to the screen, but these scenes have made some folks (who probably still wear buckles on their hats) get all huffy. I only get huffy over the ones that involve drastic character and/or plot changes.
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#30 – Game of Thrones Religions Worth Believing In

People are just not into the Lord of Light! Voters would rather turn their lips blue or be confused, beaten and blinded by the Many-Faced God than join up with R’Hllor, and I dunno, learn how to ressurect the dead? That seems cool to me, but I guess not everyone is onboard with burning children at the stake. Sign me up!
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Nerd Stuff Listicles on Ranker (Lists #21-23)

It’s time for another Reader’s Digest for the weirdo-nerd articles I’ve been writing for Ranker!

diamond#21 – The 26 Reasons Diamonds are for Suckers

This is probably my all-time favorite. I like it so much; I’ve decided to turn it into a song on my next album. If you read this and still go out and buy a diamond, you’re a moron. I have no idea how anyone should vote on this list, because all 26 entries are equally good reasons to never, ever buy a diamond.
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the-best-spawn-action-figures-ever-sculpted-u1#22 – The Best Spawn Action Figures Ever Sculpted

This is some 3D nerd stuff right here. I’m happy to see that the top voted option is one that I own. People sure do like Spawn more than his Rogue’s Gallery, but I’ll always have a spot in my heart for Cygor, the man/gorilla cyborg with a monkey in his chest.

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default#23 – Everyone Mystique Impersonates Someone in the X-Men Movies

Wow, this was an emotional ride. For someone as wrapped up in X-Men lore as myself, marathoning the whole XCU was a trip. So much goodness; so much awfulness. Voting is disabled on this list so it can be chronological forever.
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Calling All Ears

As you already know (or are already sick of hearing about), I’ve been working on recording my 16-song album since June. For the most part, I play all the… parts and produce and mix and all that stuff. I can be pretty insular and isolationist, which in the smart part of my brain, I know is bad for the baby (the album, I mean).  I’ve done it that way twice and it went “ok,” but I’d like to try something else this time.

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Would anyone be interested in checking out some of the in-progress recordings and giving me some opinions and/or feedback? It doesn’t matter if you’re a pro or a layman as long as you have ears (or some other method of hearing music, I’m not picky). I’ve got a contact page!

Album #3 Progress Report #2 – Vocals Aplenty

I’m halfway into recording the vocals for what will be album #3. I took a hearty break after the last bass tracks to work out a new song (tentatively) called “Diamonds Are For Suckers.” It’s 14 minutes long, so now this thing is an album for sure! I’ve never done an album with such diverse vocal stylings, so I’m quickly learning that recording a rap is different from recording a rant, which is not the same as recording beatbox, none of which are the same as recording the singing that I’m used to doing. On top of that, I’m doing it all in my closet studio. 🙂 So, per usual, it’s going pretty slowly. I started in June, and I’d say I’m about halfway done… so… nope, still not committing to any dates.

For the record, I have at least five rap songs now, and they’re not all bad.